I Am Shin
by EffectiveObjection
Summary: He introduced himself as Uchiha Shin... but who is he actually? Shin seeks for the answer as well and he will find them in the most suprising place - in the village of his enemies who he learned to loathe. I don't follow the events of the next gen manga after the first few chapters. And my first language is not english so you are welcomed to correct me if you see any mistakes:)
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: I Am Uchiha**

My name is Uchiha Shin. Shin means new. It means new and flawless and pure. That was what Father explained to me. The Uchiha's name needs to be pure once again, since there are a lot of stains to smear it. I am going to be the messenger to the new Uchiha clan, the boy, who needs to wash it clean. It is my cross to bear, but my glory, too. And I wear it gladly. Even if there is a price to pay.

My price was my boyhood, which I never had. Never had friends, or pets, or family, only Father, who forbid me from having „too much bonds". Or too much words. I have never been very talkative and I learned my lesson not to use many words. Speaking much, it means you are weak. Only the weaklings feel the need to talk and talk, to fill the silence with words, which don't lead to anywhere. Father despises those weaklings. And so am I.

However, sometimes I did have attachments. I remember the first one, since that was the most painful. It was a rabbit, cute and surprisingly black in fur. I called him Usegi-chan – even if I later learned that he was a she -, and sometimes referred him as Uchiha Banii. Father just watched me, when for the shortest time I forgot about being the Newest of the Uchiha generation, and I was just a boy. He watched me and waited patiently to grow the bonds, and then he killed my rabbit in front of my eyes. I started to cry and he slapped me. I was a weakling, and he despised me at that time, too. I do not know if that hurt me the most or my rabbit's death. Or maybe both.

This was the time, when my Sharingan woke up.

As for the other bonds I do not remember too much. Father, when he was in a good mood often said me jokingly that lately he has to be more creative with his methods to make my Sharingan stronger. I never laughed on these jokes. I never learned how to laugh. I guess Father would have been angry if he had seen me laughing anyway.

I do remember when my Mangekyou Sharingan woke up. Father said me after the event, that it was a tricky one. You see, you have to witness one of your close relative's or best friend's death to wake up you Mangekyou. But at that time I had none of them, only maybe Father, but he was not sure that his death would wake up my Mangekyou. Me neither.

So he gave me a mission. My very first mission actually, because my whole life was only training after training with some hints of trauma to make my doujutsu stronger. I was excited and a little worried – two emotions I was not familiar with. Father told me that the mission's purpose is to blend in with a little village. It was the village Hidden in the Waterfall. Not very famous or strong; there were only a handful of ninjas, who got trainings there and they moved to the Hidden Clouds as soon as they could. They desperately wanted some ninjas to look over their village and protect them from the bandits and Father said the task is mine. I was only ten, however a ten year old with a powerful three-dotted Sharingan.

The villagers had no trust in me at first. I had no trust in them either. I spoke to no one. I did not look them in the eye. I was afraid to grow bonds. The children called me to play with them at first, but their parents told them not to. I was on duty to protect them, so technically I was no child. And I was okay with that – I did not feel myself as a child anyway.

I did not want strings attached, but it was inevitable. They gave me food. They gave me some place to sleep. There was a nurse, a young woman who always took care of my minor injuries and she always had some kind words to me. I do not remember her name, or maybe I just forgot, I do not know. I made myself forget. The villagers were distrustful toward me at the beginning, but lately they started to get used to me. I was part of the village, part of a little family. They started to talk about that I should get a badge with the village symbol. And I was proud and a little happy, too, but I never showed them that side of me. They got used to that, too. I was just Shin, and they did not care about the rest, not cared about me being the pure blooded Uchiha. It was a nice turn. I would never tell Father, but I preferred being Shin than being the newest of the Uchihas. I was lying in the bed at nights and was terrified, because the thought telling Father, that I wanted to stay… Impossible. Uchiha Shin cannot have dreams. Cannot have family or village and he already have a symbol on the back of his shirt. The Uchiha symbol what made me somebody and without it I was no one. There was not _me_.

 _That night_ I fell asleep quickly. I did my job right; there was no reason to think Father would be angry with me. If I could stay in the village I did not know, but it was the future's problem. Right now I am invincible; right now I can be the Waterfall's Shin. Or I thought so.

That was the night, when the attack on the village happened. It was fast and brutal and so unexpected. Father told me that the mission is going to be easy. Waterfall is small and insignificant, maybe worthy for some pitiful bandits or missing ninja, but not for any powerful one. I am the newest and soon to be the strongest of the Uchihas, but still a child, said Father. There is no use of me if I die. Then why is this happening now? Is it a coincidence or on the contrary: they are here because of me?

Soon I realized the purpose of the attack was not theft or blackmailing, but they attacked for the sole purpose to destroy everything. The buildings were on fire and there already were bodies on the streets by the time I rushed out of my room. I did not see the attacking ninjas, but I heard screaming in the distance, maybe just one or two streets away from me. I ran; I jumped on a building and I saw a man. He wore a mask and I could not see any emblem on his clothes to recognize where he came from. He grabbed a woman's hair and pulled her to his chest and then cut her neck. Just like that. No vengeance, no rage, no meaning. And then he looked up; our eyes met.

He wore a mask, but I know those eyes well enough. The left eye is normal and black and cold, but on the place of the right eye there is a Sharingan, which is not his. Never asked him where did he take it, did he steal it or someone gave it. Father always acted like it was his and I never dared to question its origins or his rightfulness. And after some time I never really cared. I could easily get out the stitches what prevented the eye to shut down after the use of the Isanagi. He died and came back to life thanks for this not once and not twice, but a lot more. I had no chance against him. Father did not die that night, not because of the hands of me. He knew that I will not clash with him.

I knew that I failed. I failed my mission, because I could not attack Father and I failed Father, because I could not do my job. I watched the whole Waterfall burn and the villagers are slaughtered down because of my weakness. Some of them looked up me as well and they begged to me for help, to save them. And I just looked down at them with a face of a boy who is not capable of mercy or feelings at all, the face of Uchiha Shin and that night Father made me realize that the only place in this world is with him. I finally embraced my true purpose of my existence; only in my deepest of my body I felt the pain and devastation.

That was the night, when my Mangekyou Sharingan woke up. Not because I killed my best friend, but because I killed a whole village, those who were the closest being my family ever in my life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: I Am Vengeance**

First task in becoming an Uchiha was killing Uchiha Itachi's brother. It was like a mantra for me. I told myself in the mornings when I got up and at nights when I finally could get some rest. It helped me stay focused which is important for a ninja, especially for the most perfect ninja with the purest blood. Father told me this a lot too, but in his eyes I could catch the little glimpse of true emotions – rage, determination and sadness. When I pictured these feelings and projected them on the front of my skull I could _almost_ feel them. Of course I never knew Itachi – I only saw a picture of him when he was a member of the Akatsuki -, and I did not feel anything toward him, but I had to make Father's wrath mine also.

"Wrath is your friend, Shin! Never forget this, since it's the most powerful emotion of all. Wrath is a quick and deadly one, only hatred can surpass it, which contains lingering and requires patience. Do you have patience, Shin?"

"I… think so" – I spoke so seldom that my voice was sore and erratic. Father did not like when I spoke and he did not like it when I was not explicit. Like now.

"No, you don't! You're a kid and you can't think anything for a longer time than tomorrow. You don't even know what hatred is" – Father grabbed my chin and forced me to look him in the eyes. It was always hard for me to maintain someone's look. So I looked only the Sharingan which was cold and still and unblinking that almost did not look like a real eye. "But it's alright. You're still young; you will find hatred in your heart when we finish your training. The hatred, which is Itachi's heritage. Right now your wrath is enough and mind me if I say wrath can be such a destructive force as hatred."

Finally he let me go and it was hard to maintain my body unmoved. But I managed it with only a slow blink to show my discomfort.

"How… should I?" asked as it was hard to squeeze the words out of my mouth, but Father understood me as well.

"You remember each time when your Sharingan moved to the next level, alright? Wrath is very similar to that emotion, if you want to learn how to control it you have to remember how to _feel_ it every time when you need it. Can you do this?"

I bowed and stared at him, but actually I was not sure. I did not hate my bunny even if its death awoken my Sharingan and I definitely did not hate the Waterfall's villagers.

However thinking of them _did_ made me feel something that easily could have been anger. Not toward the Waterfall, not the people who sometimes asked me how I am or the kind nurse who took care of my wounds and gently caressed my head which is always made me feel nervous and disturbed. But the picture of Father in the mask who cut that woman's throat without hating or even knowing her made me feel that burning sensation and Father must see something in my eyes because he showed me one of his rare smiles and said:

"Good. Everything is good what's makes you angry. You see, that was my intent in the first place. When every unworthy Uchiha bastard is dead by your wrath whatever it is driven by, it's gonna be worth it. Only the purpose is important and you are the tool."

I thought I am something more than a simply tool, because Father always told me that I am the first of the new Uchiha generation, the pioneer. But I never questioned his methods and I would not dare doing it either.

I was already a little more than twelve when Father let me to leave the hide-out. It was my first real mission, which was not crucial because of my progress but for the Uchiha clan itself. I had to go to explore Uchiha Sasuke's real abilities.

"He is on some "redeeming" mission" Father said with a cripple smile on his face which could have been a sneer too. "Now he is on his way alone and he's vulnerable. I don't say you could overcome him – and I highly recommend not trying it – but I want to know his detailed capacities. You go, find him, fight him and after that you come back right away. Understood?"

I did not move and not say anything but it was enough for him to get that I understood him perfectly. He already moved away from me when I finally found my voice.

"I can… take him…"

"Here? Unnecessary. Maybe we can hold him as a prisoner but if he can break free we will lose this perfectly good hideout. No, just do as I said, scan his abilities and _be my eyes_."

I shook my head and started again with some kind of weird annoyance that he did not let me to finish the sentence.

"No. I mean… down."

Father stared at me and then did the most surprising thing: started to laugh. I did not understand. I got the Mangekyou Sharingan and I trained in my whole life. I knew I was strong. I felt I could make the whole world kneel and I thought Father thinks the same. Is he… disappointed in me? What did I do wrong?

"You've got backbone, I give you that. But believe me if I say: Uchiha Sasuke is much more stronger than you. Yet you don't have a chance against him. Maybe later… after we learned one thing or more about his techniques."

"You do not… trust…"

"That's true; I don't trust your abilities yet." He made a move to turn away from me, but then he changed his mind and looked at me again. Both of his eyes were blank and his face was unreadable. "Actually… this made me think maybe it's time for you to train your brain after your muscles. There's no use of you if you just jump in a battle against one of our greatest… "hero" of our age. You don't know much about history, do you? Can you even read? I don't recall I taught you, but maybe Tsuuro… No, I don't think he can read either."

"I cannot."

"Sad fragment of your knowledge" he said with a distant face. "Do you want to learn how to read?"

"If… it helps" I said, however I saw no use of books as well as I did not see the use of words. Not like there would have been many books in the hideout. But Father thought I was weak and if reading helps me to become stronger, then I was more than willing participating in it.

"In some ways it can help, yes… but no. Reading could be dangerous for you." He placed his hand on the top of my head almost with a gentle move. My body stayed still, but in my head I was a little scared. Father was sometimes unpredictable, cold or calm in one minute and filled with raging wrath in another. My guard had to be always up, especially when I was around him. "It was a lot of work to me shaping you to be this strong and unbending. Reading would mess your mind up I'm sure of it, placing dangerous ideas in your head."

"Then… I do not want."

"That's my boy." He moved away from me at last and stepped to the table, where he took a little brown box in one hand and examined it. I knew what was in the box – a pair of Sharingan in some kind of liquid from a man whose name Father never told me. "Go now with Tsuuro, he will help you find the way. Attack the man then withdraw; I want every possible information about Uchiha Sasuke. And Shin – don't let him catch you.

The forest which surrounded the Konoha village was dark and huge – it seemed to me almost eternal. I was not in a lot of forests; the hideout was in a desolated place in the mountains and I could only see the stones and some sparse grass between the rocks. There was rarely some trees those were though enough to stay alive in the mountains. And there was of course the Waterfall village, but it was a paradise to me and not fair to compare to anything – with a lot of water and steam and moss. Surrounded by water and burned in fire. Of course it could not have been a home to me, but at least it was not foreign, not so like the forest. That just made me uncomfortable.

It was easy to recognize Uchiha Sasuke's chakra and it was even easier to follow it, however the journey was difficult. We had to stop from time to time to catch the glimpse of the Uchiha's chakra and then I have to tell the path to Tsuuro, because he was the one with the ability of teleportation, but not with the ability of sense. After some moving and stopping, we finally found Uchiha Sasuke.

I looked at him behind the leaves of a bush. He seemed calm, but maybe he just pretended to be. I did not know how much his sensing is ranged, but I thought I was far enough.

 _I will head back now_ Tsuuro whispered in my ear, his voice came from everywhere and nowhere, but most likely it was all in my head. _If you retreat I will catch you in half-way. Just make sure you are far enough._

I nodded but did not say a word. Tsuuro vanished in the whirlwind of space and time jutsu. He was very talented in it. Truth be told, Tsuuro was not actually a person, nor and animal and he was not even a he. In the experiment that made me, Tsuuro was a mistake; that was Father told me. In a way, Tsuuro was my older brother; if it was not for him, I would never have been born. This is something again, what Father told me, along with the objection, when I called Tsuuro _him_. _It_ is not him.

But if Tsuuro is not a person, then what I am since I am his brother; we are the same in blood and flesh? Father never told me and I never asked.

Suddenly Uchiha Sasuke stopped and raised his head. He wore a long, brown cape and I saw the form of a katana. Most likely he had some kunai in his pocket too, but I was not worried about his weapons, since his eyes were the most dangerous weapon of them all. Now it was deactivated, so I saw only a pair of black eyes searching in the bushes in the area where I hid. If I could make him to active it… and then I could steal it… But no, I have to resist the urge. Father told me it is only an exploration mission and I always have to obey Father's words. Always.

There was no point delaying my attack, so I made my move when Uchiha Sasuke finally – as he was lost his interest – looked away from me. But it was a trick of course – he does not even watched and he pulled out his sword and blocked my attack. He caught my chains and I could not move my summoned pickaxe. Then he made a jutsu with only one hand – his other one was missing. His fingers's movement was quick, but then the electricity hit me. Lightening jutsu and from an Uchiha. It is unusual. I was amazed but I felt the pain too, even if it was only a spark of the real power of this technique. I fell to the ground and my hood fell off my head. It was a quick fight and not for me. Father was right as always.

I slowly turned around so he got a good sight of my face with my Sharingan and everything. It was the time when I realized I made a mistake – his surprised face told me that. He should not have seen me.

"Who are you?" he asked me and his surprise gave me the moment what I was needed to my escape. I disappeared immediately but I did not get far; I was never talented in this subject. Fortunately Tsuuro made his word and at the moment I showed up he appeared, too. He… It grabbed me with its vestigial hand then we were nowhere for a moment and in the hideout in the next. Father was already waiting me and he does not seemed very surprised over my fast return.

"So?" he asked right away. "What did you learn?"

"Stronger… than I thought." I searched for my words since it was a long time ago I had to speak so much and Father knew that because he just waved impatiently.

He came closer and grabbed my chin to look to my eyes. His stretched one was so deep and frightening I wanted to turn my head but I could not. I knew what he was doing. His Sharingan changed his form and it became a Mangekyou Sharingan then I heard his voice in my head – not so clearly as I heard Tsuuro's voice because this one was full of noises. I heard whispers and screams and orders and his orders louder than all of them. I could never resist his orders not even those what came from his head and even less those what came from his eyes. He told me to open my head for him and I obeyed him as always. I do not know what he learned from my head but he learned something nevertheless, because he seemed satisfied when he stepped away.

"So he didn't get back his other arm, did he… That idiot! Stubborn as an Uchiha but half as clever. I feel ashamed that he survived and Itachi didn't. He should have been the last of them… of us. And he gave his life for his brother." Father shook his head and he only murmured for himself not me but I felt the urge to talk, firstly in a long time.

"He killed… Itachi" I said. I never felt anything about his death, not hatred but nor even rage, but I knew Father felt both of them. I wanted to please him. "He has to be… punished."

"It's not just a punishment, Shin" said Father strictly. "It's cleaning and therefore a much more sacred duty. We can't make any mistake and can't rush anything. When we make a move… that's gonna be quick and ruthless. We only kill Sasuke if we need to, but I swear he's going to suffer. I will take away from him everything what's important to him. So yes, he is going to be punished, but that's not the main objective. You go back! Be near to him; not near enough to see him or he could see you, but near enough to make a move if you got a chance. Tsuuro is gonna be our eyes."

"He saw… my face."

"Yes. And that's good. Your Sharingan alarmed him and it's gonna move things to its right places. Go, and if it's needed I send a message. You will know what to do."

I trusted him and trust was the only good emotion what have left for me.

He was right again. Uchiha Sasuke's daughter has left Konoha. Tsuuro saw him and told Father, Father told my clone to catch her so I had to do that. She was so close I could easily sense her chakra and some other girl's too, who was not an Uchiha. I recognized the daughter's chakra, because it was so similar to Uchiha Sasuke's, however it was somehow different, too. Somehow less, somehow brighter and warmer, like it would be purer. Maybe because she was a kid like me, but I knew kids in the Waterfall too and theirs were not similar to hers. I liked the girl's chakra better.

Not so much later I saw her and her companion too. She was the one with glasses and black hair, fair skin and thin. The other one was the inverse of the Uchiha's daughter: dark skin, light hair and fat. I was not interested in her.

They run fast but stopped immediately when I stepped on their path in front of them and blocked their way. The Uchiha girl noticed my Sharingan right away and narrowed her eyes suspiciously and the fat one seemed to be puzzled.

"Do you know him?" asked from the dark haired girl who shook her head and kept staring not saying a word.

I had to talk and I hate talking.

"Come… come with me." My voice was blank but explicit; maybe Father would be proud of me too.

"Who… are you?" asked the girl finally, unlike mine her voice quivered and her face focused on my own. She was nervous and she had a good reason to be. She was not, unlike her father an opponent to me.

"Uchiha Shin" I said and slowly pulled a scroll out of my coat.

"So… you do know him!" The fat girl stated with a pleased face like this simple statement would be a proof for that I will not attack them. The Uchiha girl however does not seemed to be convinced.

"Father told me… that you have to go… with me" I continued. "You… have to."

"And what if I refuse?" asked the girl and put the box on the ground what was in her hand.

"Then… I will make you…" I said and I unfolded the scroll to summon my favorite weapon, the chained throwing star. I used my eyes only as the last resort, because as they were strong they were vulnerable and Father always feared that I will go blind if I use them too much despite my Senjuu genes. I still see with them sharply but I did not want to take a risk neither and I liked the weapons more anyway.

The fat girl now was scared: "Wow, this guy doesn't like rejection, huh?" but the Uchiha girl not seemed to be surprised.

I threw my weapon at them but the Uchiha was on guard and jumped on the chain to block the movement. Of course it did not stop me. I raised my arm to finish my attack but turned my back to the fat girl which, now I see that, was a mistake. I underestimated them. The girl made a jutsu and one of his hands became huge and clashed the ground with a terrible force. I could jump away of course but still interrupted me a little. Now I felt that. The anger Father told me about. I need the Uchiha girl but I do not need the fat one – so she is as good as dead. She is just a burden.

"You… I do not need…"

I pulled the chains so the Uchiha girl lost her balance and almost fell to the ground. Not good enough. Now I focused all my power on the other girl. She cannot escape from this.

…but I only hit on the already damaged ground. For I moment I did not understand it. Then it was all clear. I man stood in front of me with a long coat and short blonde hair and three whiskers on each cheek.

Father did not teach me a lot of things besides techniques but he did show me the faces of the most important men on the world. Uchiha Sasuke was one of them, of course and he was the first whose face I had to memorize. The others were the Kages and this one was out of question Konoha's Hokage. He is strong, Father said. He is dangerous but never told me why.

It does not really matter, tough. He is in my way, like the fat girl to take the Uchiha girl to Father. He is not my target so he has to die as well. Father will be pleased.

"The Sharingan… Oh, so that boy would be you."

The man said something about manners of kids nowadays too but I did not care. If he is really dangerous I cannot take him easy. I need everything that I have. So I concentrated and my Sharingan started to change.

The wrath always helps when I need power; that is what I learned. Sometimes it is harder to feel, sometimes it is easier. But it is always there, in the center of the void which is the replacement of all the emotions I should feel. Now it was easy to pull out. The Hokage is in my way and he thinks I am going to be an easy match. I did not train in my whole life to be taken as easy. I paid the price of my power.

Now he really seemed confused but only because he saw my Mangekyou. This was not the feeling I wanted to get. I wanted fear and acknowledgment. But the man's power was changing too. It became darker and more… more devastating? Something was in this man's guts which was instinctual and intemperate, like and an animal. How can a human have this kind of chakra, I mused. Now I was not so sure in myself but it did not change my duty. I had to fight him.

The Hokage's chakra became so huge it burst out of his skin and I could see it with my bare eyes. It was red and took the form of claws. Impossible but I saw it happening so it must be true.

I started to jump out of his way and up on the ruins of a building. What should I do? I can call my Susanoo anytime but I never try that before. There was always a chance to go blind because of it and Father would not be happy if that were to happen. But if I will go home empty handed would disappoint him as well so I must take my chance.

"Comere boy, I won't hurt you; I'm not a monster, you see! But I have questions for you so I really can't let you go."

I gathered all my chakra inside of me and prepared for the jutsu… when I caught the sight of Tsuuro not so far away from me.

 _Do not fight him, Shin. He is too strong. You must withdraw._

It made me confused. Tsuuro should be just a watcher and he must not interfere, never. Did Father tell him to stop me or did Tsuuro disobey him?

That moment of hesitation was enough the Hokage to attack me. I barely bypassed the clash of his chakra claws and even its wind make me lost my balance. Tsuuro was right; I have to leave the girl and the Hokage with his unknown power.

I made my move toward Tsuuro who had to keep his distance to not be discovered. His Sharingan already became the whirlwind to his teleportation technique and I almost caught him when…

Something grabbed my left leg and pulled me back. It was the Hokage's chakra claws and even its touch burned me. I yelled – I never yelled before – and I watched helplessly how I got out of range of Tsuuro's jutsu who, with a blink of one sad eye vanished in the whirlwind of leaves. Then I landed on the ground and the power of the impact squeezed the breath out of my lungs.

"Now we will have some words, won't we?" The man came closer to me, and his burning chakra writhed on me, clamped me on the ground and made me impossible to move. And it was hurting me so bad I wanted to yell again but I bit my mouth to force back the urge. I felt my own blood on my tongue and my tears too. Crying was also new to me.

"What the…" I heard the man murmuring above me, and then the Uchiha girl cried "Seventh-sama, you are hurting him!" and then everything gone dark and soft and peaceful without pain.


End file.
